A Proper Place
by fizzmonkeys
Summary: A Prequel to "Wednesday Dates". Harry doesn't know what to do when his world is turned upside down.


Most days, Harry was glad that he was who he was

**A Proper Place**

_**A Prequel to "Wednesday Dates"**_

**

* * *

******

Prologue

"Will you love me for the rest of my life?" Ginny whispered.

"No," Harry said to her surprise. "I'll love you for the rest of mine."

* * *

"Where's Dad?" Lily asked as Albus's arms engulfed her shaking body.

"He's still upstairs," Albus answered, breathing into the tresses of her long red hair. To this day, she was the picture image of their mother, just as Albus resembled their father. "Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione have been trying to get him to come downstairs for the past half hour or so."

She slowly pulled away from her brother and looked up at his worn expression. "No luck?" Lily asked him, even though she knew the answer. Her father would always do as he wished when it came to her mother. Of course he wouldn't be convinced. He would stay by her side every moment of his life if he could.

Albus shook his head and whispered, "No." It was hard to miss the pain in his voice as he spoke. "I'm worried about him, Lil. We don't hear a single word from him when…" he paused when he heard her sharp intake of breath mimicking his. "We don't even realize that there is anything _wrong_ until Aunt Hermione Floos us."

"Al," Lily said with concern as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure he'll be fine. You know Dad, always trying to protect us." She tried to smile as her shoulders lifted in a small shrug, but the warmth that was usually there didn't quite reach her eyes.

"It doesn't make it any easier to handle," he muttered, unable to read the expression on her face.

"I know. He just needs some time, that's all."

They both stood in silence for a few moments when Al's blank stare suddenly disappeared and his gaze drifted up to the landing of the second floor as if willing their father to appear there.

Realizing that he might suggest that they try to coerce their father, once more, to come downstairs, Lily cleared her throat to distract him.

"Where's James?" she asked looking around.

It took a minute for Albus to focus his thoughts again before answering her question. "Erm…he's Flooing a few others that we hadn't managed to reach yet."

"Of course," she nodded and then her expression fell in apology. "I'm so sorry I couldn't get here sooner. I was watching little Charlie while Sarah, and Colin went out to dinner, and David, h-he wasn't home from work yet, and I couldn't…but I tried…" Lily's incoherent ramblings were becoming worse with each breath. "I-I could've helped."

Her eyes, swimming with tears, shone like glass when they met his again and he pulled her into a fierce hug. His arms were strong around her as he held her tight to him. It made it so much easier for her to lose control when Albus and James were trying to hold onto the world for her. Nothing would fall apart as long as they were there with her.

"Don't worry, Lil." His hands rubbed slow circles across her back and somehow it helped to relax her a bit. "We've had some help taking care of most of it. There are only a few more things to settle."

Albus could tell by the hurt look that consumed her face that she was still blaming herself. "But I should've been here to… And you and James shouldn't have been left alone to do…"

He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her lightly before she gave up. "It's all right, I promise. You're here now. That's all that matters to us."

She exhaled slowly in defeat as her brother leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead in a gentle kiss.

"Where's everyone else? Did Colleen come with you? What about Anna and the children, did James bring them? Has anyone even Flooed Teddy yet?"

Albus couldn't help but chuckle lightly at the steady string of questions that was pouring from her mouth now. "Calm down, love. One question at a time."

"Anna took the kids up to James's old room. She wanted to keep them busy while we took care of things down here. Colleen's at Hogwarts picking up Olivia. I told her to go on and pick up Evan and Lucas too. One less thing for you and James to worry about."

"Oh, Al, she didn't have to. I was going to fetch Evan myself first thing in the morning."

"It's all right. She was on her way there to pick up the others anyway. Matter of fact, they should probably be here shortly," he added, eyeing his faded gold watch momentarily. Colleen had left a quarter hour ago to pick up their daughter and two nephews who were the only ones in attendance at the time. He wondered how she might explain to them why they were coming home when they didn't have a holiday for another month.

"And Teddy?" Lily reminded her brother.

Albus blinked, realizing that he hadn't answered all of her questions. "He and Victorie are on their way."

"What about—?"

"Lil," he interrupted her. "They know. It's all taken care of."

Lily nodded absentmindedly, lost in quiet thought for a moment as she looked down at the baby bag that she'd picked up by mistake. Albus's eyes followed.

"David will need this."

"David will be here soon enough," he said, taking the small tote from her hand and hanging it on the cloak rack by the door.

"I want to see her," Lily spoke softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She was looking towards the stairs when Albus turned back to face her.

His expression was solemn. "I know; I do, too. But with Dad in the state he's in…"

"I _have_ to see Mum, Al." The warm light of the sitting room flickered brightly in her tear-filled eyes as she moved her gaze back to him. Her heart called out, pleading from the very depths of her.

"You will," he said soothingly. Albus wished that there was some way to ease the pain that he could feel radiating from her. "I promise. But for now, we need to wait."

Taking her by the hand, he tried to distract her. "Come on, then, love. Let's get you some tea."

Despite the desperate longing within her, she feared her desire equally, knowing that it would be far more difficult to face.

"That might be nice," she muttered finally, following her brother without argument.

As they entered the kitchen, Lily noticed Hermione sitting quietly at the table while Ron paced anxiously behind his wife. She caught her aunt's eye and returned her smile despite the heaving sob that threatened to break free from her chest at the sight of them. They were both tired and weak, and it reminded her all too well of the last time she'd seen her mother. She could only imagine that her father's state fared far worse than her aunt and uncle's did. But she would have to stay strong. She couldn't break down now.

However, as her gaze found her oldest brother pushing himself up from the floor on the opposite end of the room, she felt her resolve falter.

Albus gave her hand a quick squeeze when she hesitated in the kitchen doorway before walking over to the stove to prepare a cup of tea for her. Lily's eyes stayed fixed on James, watching him brush the dust and soot from his trousers as he stood. She was waiting for him to turn around and catch sight of her because once he did, her control would be lost.

"I finally managed to get in touch with Luna. Apparently she's still out and about travel—" James said until his words came to a halt mid-sentence. His eyes fell upon his sister as she sighed unevenly. She was pale and unmoving as a statue, yet her body was visibly weary with emotion. He had never seen her so frail and it frightened him more than he ever thought possible.

"Lil'bit," he whispered and crossed the room in three long strides. His arms wrapped around her before her mind could comprehend what was happening.

Lily had never been one of those girls who was considered overly sensitive or dependent. She had always been able to take care of herself. But what she wanted more than anything now was to cry into her brother's chest as he pulled her tense frame close to him. She wanted to forget about everyone else around her and everything that had happened in the last few hours, yet she remained determined to hold back the tears for as long as she could.

"How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?" Lily's muffled voice reprimanded him. But even as she scolded him, she didn't really care what he called her now. Just as long as he was near, she'd let him call her every name in the book.

His hot breath flowed through the loose strands of her hair as James gave a short husky laugh and laid his cheek on the top of her head. Lily would be content staying there all night, buried in the warmth of his hug, if he didn't mind.

"How are you holding up, Lils?" James asked quietly, trying to make their moment together as private as possible. He knew that she wouldn't want everyone listening to their conversation.

Lily remained silent for a moment, desperately trying to stop the tears that had begun falling as soon as the words had left his mouth.

"Not so well," she said with a broken voice, sniffling.

She was thankful when James's arms tightened around her once more because she knew that he understood. He knew that she needed to let her walls fall, to let her guard down and cry, even if it was only for a few moments.

* * *

"Well, I think we've done as much as we can for the time being. There should only be a few other matters to address, but we'll need to discuss those with Harry," Hermione said, quickly scribbling something on the parchment in front of her.

"Once Dad comes downstairs, James and I will go up and…" Al paused as his words caught in his throat.

"We'll take care of Mum," James finished, patting his brother on the shoulder.

Ron's ragged voice startled them slightly when he broke his silence. "There won't be much you'll need to tend to." His statement was simple and quiet but full of raw emotion that they weren't used to hearing.

"I don't understand." Albus looked at his uncle with a furrowed brow.

"Your dad has taken care of most of it already, sweetheart." Hermione reached across the table and gave Al's hand a small pat. He waited for her eyes to meet his, wanting her to explain her answer further, but she never looked up at him.

"What do you—?" he began to ask her when Lily's soft voice stopped him.

"You saw her, didn't you?" The question was only for her aunt, and all Hermione could manage in response was a nod.

Three pairs of eyes looked up at Ron as his frantic pacing came to an abrupt halt and he took the seat next to his wife, interlacing his fingers with hers. Lily knew, then, that there was something else that she and her brothers didn't know.

Tears were shining in both their eyes and she knew at that moment that what she was about to hear would tear at the open wound within her. Lily wasn't quite sure if she could bear much more of it.

She reached over and took James by the hand, causing him to flinch slightly at her unexpected touch.

"What are you not telling us?" James frowned, fuelled by Lily's sudden panic. He squeezed her hand with gentle reassurance now.

"This isn't necessarily the best time," Ron said, concerned for Hermione's state of mind. He didn't want her to be the one who had to tell them everything. But he knew that his own heart would only be able to take so much more pain.

"Now is as good a time as any." Albus's voice sounded strange even to his own ears.

"We didn't know that there was anything wrong when we Apparated," Hermione began. Ron pulled her close. "I'm all right," she whispered to him and he loosened his hold an infinitesimal amount.

"You already know that we have been coming by every day now." James, Albus, and Lily all gave a nod in unison. "Today wasn't any different; at least, we didn't think so.

"Your dad didn't answer the door, which wasn't completely out of the ordinary, so we came in. After Ron called across the house for him and didn't find any sign of him down here, we immediately headed upstairs to their bedroom." Her expression fell with such sadness as she turned and met Ron's intent gaze. "That's where we found both of them…"

"Was…" the tears had already begun to roll down Lily's pale cheeks. "Was she already…?"

Hermione nodded.

It took Lily a long moment before she could swallow the lump in her throat. "And Dad?"

This time, Hermione closed her eyes, shutting out the world around her. She wished desperately that she wasn't sitting here in her friends' home, telling her friends' children, her _family_, how lifeless their mother was when she and Ron had found her. She couldn't tell them that she watched their father, bent low over his wife's body, clutch her hand and cry as if his soul had been torn from his chest. The image of that moment was burned so vividly into her mind that she would never be able to forget it. And she knew that she didn't have the strength to _ever_ tell them that news.

"He was sitting by the bed, next to her. I called his name…'_Harry_'," Hermione whispered, her eyes still shut tight, as if she could see herself there. "But he didn't seem to hear me. He just kept sitting there, holding onto her hand as if she might try to leave. I heard Ron behind me…'_Harry, Ginny…_'" Her eyes opened and she looked at her husband with an unfocused stare. "We didn't want to believe it."

Ron's head slumped forward and hung in silence as Hermione's small hand reached up and began combing her fingers through his soft, grey hair.

"It wasn't long after that when we Flooed you lot. James took over for us when he got here while we kept trying to convince Harry to come downstairs. He looked so weak; I don't think he's had much to eat or drink all day. But he wouldn't move…" Her voice softened now as she remembered something that she hadn't realised before. "I think he's too afraid to leave her."

Hermione blinked several times before turning to look at her niece and nephews sitting across the table from her. Albus was quiet, resting his head in his hands while James had one arm wrapped around Lily's shoulders, rubbing his hand up and down her left arm in attempt to warm her slightly. None of them could speak after what they had just gleaned.

Hermione sighed with regret. She had said too much.

Several long minutes passed without a word from any of them. It was an awkward silence as they all held their emotions within, waiting until they were alone to grieve fully.

Clearing his throat, James broke the tension in the atmosphere. "I'd better go see what Anna and the kids are up to." He let go of his sister and began pushing away from the table when the sound of a door closing upstairs caught everyone's attention.

"That must be them now," James muttered and stood from his seat. Despite her brother's certainty, Lily paused and listened intently to the footsteps above. They were slow and careful and seemed to belong to one person, not three.

"James…" she said, grabbing hold of his arm. "I don't think that's them."

He looked down at her concerned expression and his brow creased. Lily gave a quick nod before he had the opportunity to ask.

All of their heads turned as Hermione's chair scraped across the floor and she stood, making her way towards the kitchen door.

Everyone stared after her as she stopped in the doorway and peered down the dimly lit hall. The tension in her body was visible as she called into the shadows where she couldn't see properly.

"Harry?"

* * *

His legs were heavy, his body weary; it took all of the strength that he had in him to move across the room without reaching out for something to hold onto.

The door was so close as he crept forward step by step, yet he wanted it to be so very far away.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, threatening to crack his ribs as it flowed with such pain that he had never known. Yes, he'd endured the pain that had come with others before now, but this was different.

The closer he got to the door, the longer the room seemed. The strong magnetic pull that he'd felt since he began to leave wrenched at him now, and a sob broke from his throat when his hand finally reached for the doorknob.

He wasn't going to look back. If he did, his resolve would fade and he wouldn't leave. He would lock himself inside that bedroom until his life withered away. It wouldn't matter that he had family and friends that were worried about him. He knew that time would heal all their wounds, but it wouldn't heal his. There was no magic powerful enough to give him back the piece of his soul that was now gone.

But he wouldn't leave without looking back. Not really. It would be blasphemous not to see his heart's desire once again before the chance disappeared. His opportunities were so few now that he could feel her absence burning a hole inside him.

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the door as a battle waged inside him. His heart was telling him that he needed to see her once more; his mind was saying that it would only make the pain worse if he turned back now.

Despite the arguments of his conscience, he knew that his heart would win, and knowing that, the voices in his head settled into a quiet murmur.

He tried to slow his ragged breathing but the more he tried, the more anxious he became. With one last deep breath, he turned around to see what he both longed for and feared equally.

A sharp gasp escaped his lips as the pain and agony washed over him. The sight of her lying there, motionless, caused his eyes to swell with tears again. He'd been hoping that he would be able to hold on to some amount of strength, but it eluded him as he collapsed back against the door.

It was like this every time his gaze found her now. He felt as if his heart stopped beating. How had he ever lived without her before they met? How had he not realised that very first day that he saw her on Platform 9 ¾ that she was already irreplaceable to him? Why did it take him six years to understand that there would never be anyone for him but her?

Memories of her flooded his mind and a cry racked his body at the thought of another minute without her presence. How would he exist now? His life meant nothing if she wasn't with him.

Heartache burned inside him, overwhelming his senses. Why had he not stayed awake? What if she had called out to him and he hadn't heard her? He was consumed with so many unanswered questions. What if they'd changed one moment, one decision in their lives? Just one. Would she still be here now if they had?

He couldn't take it anymore. If he stayed here much longer, his uncontrollable emotions would only drive him mad.

Reaching back with a trembling hand, he clutched the doorknob and turned it. Without another thought, he slipped out of the room quickly before his heart could hold him there any longer.

The loud thud of the door rang in his ears as it closed behind him, making him flinch slightly. Seconds passed before he looked up at the dim hallway around him. What would he do now? What was it that happened next in life? Everything around him, everything _in_ him felt unmistakably empty.

He felt as if he could weep for days, and yet, he knew that even though the tears would cease momentarily, they would never truly come to an end.

He closed his eyes briefly as he rested against the wall outside their bedroom. His erratic breathing was beginning to slow and he could hear the steadying rhythm of his heart as it relaxed. There was no denying how tired he was, but he also knew that there was still so much to be done.

Sighing, he pushed himself away from the wall. The busier he stayed, the better. It meant that he wouldn't have time to stop and think. His mind wouldn't be able to drift off and remind him of the hollow center in his heart or why it was there now. He would keep busy. That was the only thing that he knew to do.

"Harry," came a short, breathy whisper from somewhere in the shadows. His head snapped up in the direction of the sound. He peered into the dark corners of the corridor, but the longer he stood there, the more he questioned if he had really heard anything at all.

He took a few measured steps to the right, knowing that the voice hadn't come from downstairs. No, it had been very close to him. Still, he found nothing, and his heart sank in disappointment. He shook his head and tried to clear the confusing thoughts. What made him think that it might have been her voice that called to him? There was no possibility that he would ever hear her voice again, was there?

His shoulders dropped in defeat. His body was worn and exhausted, but he wouldn't sleep tonight. If he did, there would be dreams filled with visions of her. He couldn't stand to feel the pang of loss again, when morning came.

"Harry?" This time he knew he heard her voice. It was tiny, hesitant…nearly the way he'd heard her call his name several times before. He spun around, praying this time that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. What he found when he turned back was not what he expected and he froze, confused by what now laid in front of him.

"_Harry?" Ginny asked again, concern lacing her voice._

_Harry stared with a dumbfounded expression as if he'd never seen her before. He blinked rapidly, noticing the furrow in her brow as she looked up at him from the bed._

"_Gin?" Her name fell so easily from his lips. Tears began to blur his vision and he swore under his breath. He had promised himself that he would never let her see how much the impending circumstances weighed on his heart. _

_She could see it now; he knew that. How long had she known?_

"_What's the matter?" she asked softly, patting the empty space on the bed beside her._

"_Nothing," he replied too quickly, giving himself away._

_Ginny chuckled weakly and flashed him a small smile as Harry crossed the room. She waited for him to pull his chair closer to the bed and sit down while she tried to decipher his thoughts._

_The long expression that he wore saddened her because she knew that there was nothing she could do to mend him. His heart was already broken; she'd known this for some time now despite the fact that he tried to hide it from her every day. _

_He fussed over her, fluffing her pillow and securing the blankets more tightly around her. It was needless to worry and she'd insisted many times before that he not cause such a commotion over her._

_Leaning over the edge of their bed now, Harry carefully took her fragile hand in his. She watched him as his fingers danced across her palm. His eyes roamed over every inch of her aged skin as if to memorize the look of her hand in his. _

_Ginny could feel her lips trembling at the thought of this being their last night together. There was still so much to say. There hadn't been enough time; she needed more. She was greedy for more. But nothing that she wanted would change the circumstances._

"_Harry…" she began hesitantly. He wouldn't want to talk about this but they had to discuss things before it was too late. "We need to talk."_

"_We talk all the time, Gin." He was avoiding her._

_She sighed. "This is different."_

"_I don't see how," he said nitpicking over anything that was out of place. His eyes wouldn't meet hers._

"_It is," Ginny insisted, still gazing at him even if he wouldn't look at her. "Please, Harry, just stop putting this off and listen to me." She squeezed his hand lightly when his jaw tightened. This would be difficult for both of them to endure._

"_There's so much, I hardly know where to begin…" her voice was thoughtful as it trailed off. A silent moment passed before she continued. "Open the top drawer of my bedside table would you, please?"_

_Harry hesitated briefly then reached to his right and slid the drawer open._

_Inside was a stack of letters bound together with a small ribbon. He frowned as he took them out and closed the drawer again. Glancing down at the thick pile of letters, he noticed his son's name, Albus, was scrawled on the top envelope._

"_What's all this?" Harry's voice was raw as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew what her answer would be, but he wouldn't acknowledge the reality of it until she spoke the words._

"_There's one for all of you: James, Albus, Lily, Ron and Hermione, Luna, and a few others. There is one for you too, of course. Just there," she said, pointing at a letter near the bottom that was thicker than the others._

"_Gin…" he tried to interrupt but she wouldn't let him._

"_There are a few other things in the table drawer for all the grandchildren as well. You can give those to them later. But I want everyone to have their letters first. You'll make sure they get to the right ones, won't you?"_

_He sighed after a moment and finally looked up into her bright brown eyes. Harry didn't answer at first. He just steadily held her gaze. Would he always remember the beauty in her eyes? Would he remember the depth of emotion and meaning that they held? He shook the thoughts from his mind. His subconscious kept distracting him with questions that he didn't want to think about._

_But he would not tell her that he would do her bidding. If he gave in, he would be admitting that she was right about… No, he wouldn't agree._

"_Why don't you give these out yourself? It would mean so much more coming from you. Besides," he continued casually; as long as he didn't acknowledge her preposterous notions, he wouldn't have to accept it as truth, "Ron and Hermione will be 'round later today and I can have the kids stop by sometime in the next couple of days—" _

"No!_" she said with finality, cutting off his words. Ginny was adamant in her decision and her tone surprised him. Neither one of them said anything for a considerable amount of time. _

_It wasn't until she relaxed slightly that Ginny finished her statement. "_You_ have to do this."_

_Fear and anger boiled inside Harry at her certainty. He would not let her force this twisted reality on him._

"_Bloody hell, Ginny. Stop talking like this!" His chest heaved slightly, unaware of just _how_ upset he was. "You're going to be all right. You'll still be here tomorrow and the next day and the next day—"_

"_But I _won't_, Harry!" she insisted somehow louder than him. "I _won't_." He could see the tears swimming in her eyes and hear the desperation in her voice. "This is what I've been trying to tell you. I don't have much more time here with any of you."_

"_You're wrong," he whispered. Even as he said it, he knew that he was only lying to himself._

_She huffed audibly and turned her head away from him, visibly worn from their argument. "What's the point in discussing this with you? You're never going to believe me."_

_Harry sat silent. She was right; he wasn't going to believe her until he had to. And right now, he didn't have to._

_Ginny was staring out their bedroom window when she spoke again. "I just needed you to do this for _us." _Her voice was weak, and Harry swore under his breath for the way he was acting. He should never have gotten upset at her._

"_Alright."_

_She frowned as she turned back to see him sitting there, his eyes waiting to meet hers. "What?"_

"_I said 'alright'. I'll take care of the letters and anything else you want me to." Harry watched her as she studied him carefully as if trying to make sure that he wasn't just saying what she wanted to hear._

"_Do you promise?" Ginny asked one last time, though she knew his answer._

"_I promise," he assured her and she sighed with relief._

"_Please, tell the children," she started saying when Harry suddenly looked like he was about to argue again. "No, I know that you don't want to hear this but it's a part of our deal." She paused, making sure that he wouldn't attempt to interrupt her. "Tell James, Al, and Lily that I love them very much. Give all the grandchildren two hugs every time you see them – one for me, one for you. Tell Ron that I said to stop aggravating Hermione so much. I know he does it on purpose. And Harry…" he held his breath, wondering what she might say to him, "make sure to settle Luna down once in a while long enough for a cuppa tea and a nice chat." His shoulders fell with slight disappointment when her words weren't for him._

"_Oh," she muttered, remembering something. "And tell Fred to lay off all the ear jokes. They're getting a bit old after all these years and I know that George is getting tired of them, even though he won't admit it."_

"_Erm, Gin…" Harry was hesitant and worried by the sudden lapse in memory. How could he tell her this? "Fred is…well, he's…"_

"_What?"_

"_He, er…nevermind," he shook his head, dismissing his thoughts. He wouldn't say anything. "Nothing. I'll make sure that he gets the message."_

_Ginny smiled at him with so much love in her eyes. They didn't say anything for a while and as he sat in the comfortable silence, he realised that he was glad that she hadn't said anything to him earlier. It would've been too difficult for both of them. It was better this way, to just know how they felt about one another, what they meant to each other._

"_I'll miss you most of all," she said softly without warning. Harry could feel the burning tears in his eyes instantly._

_He couldn't look at her now. It hurt far too much. "Nonsense. You won't have time to miss me because I'll always be with you."_

_She opened her mouth to speak, but Harry's words stopped her before she could start. "Do you know what tomorrow is?" His eyes found hers again._

"_Of course I do. It's my favorite day of the week."_

"_You'd better get some rest then. I want you fit to go tomorrow." Harry's voice was endearing. "I can't have my date without you," he winked._

"_I'll be there. I promise."_

_He smiled happily, thankful that she had finally moved on to a new topic of conversation._

_Ginny felt a burden lift from her heart when she saw his smile. They always looked forward to their Wednesdays together. Especially now, after all these years._

_She gave a small grin back at him, knowing that this moment probably meant so much more to her than he understood. _

_Harry leaned down and kissed her hand, letting his lips linger on her soft skin. After a moment, he laid his head down against her hip and sighed when he felt Ginny's fingers comb slowly through his hair._

"_I love you," he said, his eyes drooping slightly._

_Ginny remained quiet for a moment as her tears threatened to give her away._

"_I love you, too," she whispered in return, just before falling asleep._

* * *

_Harry didn't know how long it was that he'd been sitting there, each moment fighting the sleep that tried to wash over him. Even after Ginny's breathing finally eased into a steady, hypnotic rhythm as she slept, he refused to give in. He wouldn't let a single moment that he had with her be stolen from him._

_Without thinking, his gaze drifted over to the stack of letters again, just as it had several times in those quiet minutes with her. His patience had lasted longer than he'd expected by far but as he stared at them now, his will faltered. _

_Picking up the bundled stack of envelopes, Harry found the letter addressed to him and carefully placed the others back on the bedside table. His fingers fumbled slightly with the parchment as he pulled it from the envelope. _

_When the letter unfolded in front of him, Harry noticed something fall to the bed and a sharp pain shot straight through him. He hesitated briefly, uncertain of how much he would be able to withstand, before reaching over to pick up an old photograph with worn edges._

_Ginny was twirling around in a circle, smiling happily. Leaves were falling all around her as she danced and laughed. He watched the younger image of his wife move about with ease until she suddenly came to a stop, blowing a kiss in his direction. _

_A sad smile filled his expression as the memory of that day flooded his mind. It almost felt as if he'd forgotten about that moment completely, as if he'd lived without it his entire life, yet he remembered every second of it without flaw._

_Despite Harry's happiness at the sudden flood of memories, his brow furrowed in confusion. How could he have forgotten about this picture? He had carried it with him for so many years. It was unusual for him to have simply forgotten that the picture had even gone missing. Yet suddenly, here it was, staring him in the face again with no explanation as to how or when she had found it. It was as if it had been here, in plain sight, all along._

_Wondering if he might find some bit of explanation in her letter, he picked up the parchment again and began reading._

_Harry,_

_If I know you, you're probably reading this letter before I wanted you to. Actually, if you decided to wait and read this when I asked, then I'd be surprised. But I find that highly doubtful. You never were the patient one when it came to these things._

_I've put off writing this letter for as long as I could. I thought that maybe, if I didn't put the words on paper, it wouldn't make things so final, but I guess I can't really hold off anymore. There's so much to say and now…so little time._

_But where do I begin?_

_I suppose you're curious about the picture; I know it's been missing for a while now. Well, maybe not 'missing' necessarily, just 'misplaced' so to speak. _

_I know that I joked about that picture with you a lot. I never really was concerned about your unhealthy obsession with it. But in the last few months, I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. _

_How could I be jealous of a picture of myself, right? I know, I know. Seems impossible, but I was jealous…sometimes. The way you watched me in that picture made me wonder, on occasion, if you loved me as much now in my old age as you did then, when I was so many years younger._

_It was silly of me to think such a thing. I realise that now. That's one of the reasons I'm giving it back to you after all this time. It was wrong of me to have taken something from you that you cherished. I guess I just needed a little reassurance to ease my mind._

_But I do have another motive behind giving the picture back to you now._

_I want you to keep this with you, as you did before. And whenever you think of me, I want you to remember me as _this_ Ginny. Remember me as the young, lighthearted girl that you fell in love with. Remember me as the woman you married and had a family with. Maybe then I'll be able to live on with you. After all, you are the only man who has ever owned my heart. Perhaps these pieces of me will be able to withstand the test of time. _

_I love you so much more than I can ever express, Harry. I've loved you for so long that I can't count the years. And saying goodbye to you now is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. _

_Thank you for being the man I always dreamed of. Thank you for giving us a family of our own. Thank you for everything. For giving me the world when the only thing I ever really wanted was you. _

_Keep me in your heart, Harry. Carry me with you. As long as you do, I'll always be here._

_Yours Forever,_

_Gin_

_One tear fell slowly after another, littering the parchment with scattered drops. Harry looked up at his wife, afraid to see what he feared the most, that she might already be gone. To his relief, he watched her chest rise and fall as she continued sleeping. He let out a long, slow breath, ever grateful that her words weren't true, yet. He could not imagine a second passing without her._

_Leaning down, Harry grasped her hand lightly between his and kissed it with repeated reverence. "I'm not letting you go anywhere, Gin," he whispered._

_He laid his head against her once more and closed his eyes tightly. His face was tense, focusing every ounce of his energy on the woman that was lying in front of him. _

_He would stop at nothing to keep his vow._

* * *

_Harry frowned as his eyes opened, blinking in confusion. The light around him was bright and caused his head to ache momentarily as his vision adjusted to his surroundings. The dimly lit room that was there mere moments ago was replaced by an open field of flowing grass and wild flowers. _

_He was no longer sitting in the chair next to the bed where Ginny was sleeping. Instead, he was resting against the trunk of a tall oak tree. The warmth of the summer day hung lazily in the air while the shade from the trees leaves protected him from the beating sun._

_He didn't remember getting here, much less how more than twelve hours could have passed without his notice._

"_You don't know what you're missing," a bright voice called, extracting him from his perplexing thoughts. Harry glanced down slightly to see Ginny lying a few metres away from him in a white summer dress; she was stretched out on the ground, a canvas of green grass painted around her. The blades were waving softly like ripples of water in the light breeze while her vibrant red hair lay beneath her head as if it was a halo._

_Her arms were crossed under her head like a pillow as the sun beat against her body, warming every inch of her. She wasn't the same image of the woman he'd just left in the room which confused Harry more. She was the image from the picture: a younger Ginny._

"_Don't you want to lie down with me for a little while?" His eyes had not shifted away from her since Ginny had first spoken to him. Why did it feel like it had been so long since he had heard her voice? _

_Under other circumstances, Harry probably would have waited, making her beg as she always would by batting her eyelashes and sticking out her lower lip slightly, at which point he would be lost. But today, he would not wait to give in._

_Crawling over to her, she started slightly, not expecting him to actually escape the comfort of the shade and join her without coercion. _

_His body stretched out beside hers, mocking her position and she sniggered quietly before curling up against his side. When her head was settled on his chest, he sighed deeply, happiness and hurt consuming him at once._

"_Glad you finally decided to join me," Ginny yawned lazily as her hand played with a button on his shirt. A short silence passed, neither of them needing to say a word though Harry wanted to. He wanted so desperately to say something to her, but what could he say? Was any of this even real? If he said anything, would it matter?_

"_You've been awfully quiet today." He felt her hand still against him._

"_Have I?" Harry tried to keep his voice steady. Even if this was a dream, it was giving him the greatest comfort to believe that it was real._

_Ginny gave a small nod against him. "You've barely said a word all day. Is everything all right?"_

_Sliding his fingers through her long red mane, he answered as best he could. "I'm lying here with the person I love the most. What could be more right?"_

_Harry could hear the soft giggle in her voice, the rush of breath from her lips when she turned her head upward to better see his face. She sat her chin daintily on the back of her hand and gave him that cheeky grin that he adored._

"_You're such a sap sometimes."_

"_Yeah, but you love it." _

_This time Ginny gave an appreciative laugh. "Well…you've got me there."_

_The smile on her face never faded as her eyes took in the breathtaking scenery around them. He couldn't resist reaching out and brushing her cheek gently. "It's so beautiful here, Harry. I never want to leave this place."_

_Harry smiled at the dreamy look about her. "Fine, then we won't."_

_Her narrowed eyes met him with suspicion. "Are you trying to be smart with me, Mr. Potter?"_

"_I'm hurt that you think I'm trying to be funny about this," he scoffed as if wounded by her words._

_Ginny rolled her eyes and sighed. "I am quite serious, you know." She picked up playing with the buttons on his shirt again. "Can't we stay here forever? Just the two of us."_

_He smiled, laughter echoing in his words. "You say that now, love. You'll change your mind later."_

"_No, I really mean it," she insisted. "I've dreamt about staying here with you under this big oak tree. Even when we die—"_

"_You're not going to die, Gin," his words cut her off instantly. Something about this conversation felt real to him now. "I won't let you."_

_Ginny chuckled. "Everyone has to die at some point. You can't stop everything, Harry."_

_He didn't like where this conversation was going. "I can at least try."_

_A quiet laugh rang in her voice again as she laid her head against him. "I know you will," she muttered into his shirt._

_He lay quietly with Ginny for a few more minutes, knowing that something about this moment felt very odd, almost like it was déjà vu._

"_I'd better go, love," she said without warning, pushing herself off the ground before Harry could realise what was going on._

_He began to panic slightly. What would happen if she left? Would he then see that this was all a dream? "You can't go yet, Gin. We haven't had enough time."_

"_I know," Ginny glanced over at him with a sad smile pulling at the corner of her mouth._

"_I want more."_

"_I _know_."_

_Ginny leaned down and kissed him softly. That was always one of the most perfect things: her lips against his. But despite her desire to stay, she didn't have a choice now._

_Pulling away from him once more, she reached down to grab her cloak and backed away from him slowly._

"_Oh come on, Gin. You can't just leave." Harry tried to laugh it off but the further away she got, the more he sensed a sinking feeling in his stomach. He felt hollow._

"_I'm sorry, Harry," she called to him from what seemed dozens of metres away. "I have to go now. I do."_

"_Don't leave me here alone." The emptiness in him was getting worse. She was now so far away from him that he couldn't see her face clearly. All he could see was her red hair blowing in the wind, her white dress swaying around her knees. Yet when she spoke, it sounded as if she was standing next to him._

"_You'll never be alone," Ginny said with a breathy whisper. "I love you, Harry."_

"_Don't go…" he tried one last time but before he knew it, everything was gone, including Ginny. _

* * *

_Harry woke, mumbling inaudibly for a few moments until he sat up with a start. _

_He groaned as an ache swept through his body and he tried to stretch the muscles in his back and shoulders that felt sore from having slept hunched over for too long. He could feel the dull pressure of the mounting headache as he rested his head in his shaking hands._

_With the lingering haze of his dream, Harry's mind struggled between what he'd just left behind and the reality that he'd nearly forgotten. It was only when he noticed the picture lying next to him and Ginny's letter not far from there that he realised he must have fallen asleep. It had all just been a dream as he had suspected._

_Harry sighed, relief and sadness swirling together as his eyes roamed over the bed before him, seeing Ginny still there. This was the reality that had awaited him while he dreamt of an easier time where they were together without worry. But even in his dreams, she had gone. At least that part only existed there._

_His eyes glanced up to her face as she lay peacefully sleeping, cherishing the moment that he had with her. He wanted nothing more than to drive this strange absence from his mind as his dream continued to weigh heavily on him. He just needed something, to hold her, to feel her against him. Maybe that would give him the reassurance that he so desperately needed._

_Rising slowly from his chair, Harry leaned over her, pausing briefly before his lips pressed gently against hers. This is what he needed, some reminder of their undying connection to each other. But even in that moment, something felt wrong._

_Harry pulled away, frowning. He studied her face, still and pale, until he realised with a sharp pang what his mind already knew and what his heart would not let him believe._

"_Ginny?" he asked in shock. He didn't want to accept the truth, but it was hard to find much hope as he continued to stare at her._

_There was no movement, no answer, yet he called to her again with urgency. "Ginny."_

_His breath quickened while everything around him seemed to slow immeasurably. He could hear his heart pounding, loud and quick in his ears, the dull ticking of the hand on a nearby clock as each second passed. His throat constricted as his lips formed her name once again yet no sound came out. It wasn't until then, in the agonizing silence, that he noticed she wasn't breathing._

"_Ginny!" his voice finally escaped, more distressed and raw than before. He'd grown so accustomed to the sound of her breathing that his world seemed to stop when her breath had._

_Harry's aged hands shook her shoulders gently in desperation. He could feel the tears spilling from the corners of his eyes and tried to blink them away quickly. He could not give up now. This was not the end; it had only been a dream. _It was not real.

_His heart tried to hold fast as his hope began to falter. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he couldn't help but wonder if his dream really had more meaning to it than he had suspected._

_At that moment, the weight of another thought hit him so hard that he swayed on his feet, unsteady._

What if she'd woken while I was asleep? What if she'd tried to say something?

_The ache of fresh guilt and despair burned through his body, and he sank into the chair again. Harry reached for her hand, clinging to it, pressing it to his trembling lips once more._

_How could he have done this? How could he have slept while she lay dying?_

_A strangled cry escaped his throat as he fell forward onto the bed in tears, consumed with anguish. How could he ever forgive himself?_

* * *

"Harry?" Hermione's worn voice came from beside Ron as he, Lily, Albus, and James stood at the foot of the stairs. It was the fourth time she'd called his name, yet there had been no answer.

"I know I heard a door close," she whispered to herself.

"If it is him…" Ron started, timid.

"It had to have been him," Hermione answered before he could continue.

"I just thought…perhaps it's best if we leave him alone. Merlin knows we've tried." He shrugged lightly, keeping his gaze down. "Maybe that's what he wants."

"Ron…" Hermione sighed with sadness. She stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist, knowing that he was suffering through so much of this too. They all were. But if they left Harry alone any longer, he would continue to drift further away from his family when they were what he needed most right now.

The five of them stood in silence for a few more minutes, waiting to hear if Harry's voice might call back to them, but no response came.

"Maybe one of us should go up and see if it actually is Dad," Lily suggested. "I hate to think of the state of mind he is in right now." Her eyes were soft with tears as she looked back at her brothers.

"Yeah," James agreed, clearing his throat. He reached over and gave his sister's hand a squeeze. "That's a good idea."

He turned to make his way through their little crowd toward the steps when Lily's hand squeezed back. "I want to go with you."

"Are you sure about this, Lils?" James asked, concerned.

"James is right, Lily. Maybe you should wait down here," Albus said quietly.

Taking a deep breath, she glanced at both of them with more confidence and shook her head. "No, I'm all right."

James tugged at her hand lightly and she followed him as they climbed the stairs slowly. Nothing but silence passed between them until they neared the second floor landing.

"If it is him, Lily…I-I don't know what to say." There was such tenderness and uncertainty in his eyes that she nearly began crying. It was the first time tonight that she had really seen her brother's strength falter.

She inhaled, taking a long, steadying breath to settle her nerves. She had to be strong enough for the both of them now.

"Let me go up first," Lily whispered. "You'll know what to say when the time is right. Just stay close behind me."

James nodded in agreement and moved to the side, letting her pass in front of him.

The floor creaked as Lily stepped onto the landing. It was dark, the light from the moon only casting a slight glow. She could barely make anything out in the shadows of the long corridor.

"Dad?" she asked hesitantly.

"I can hardly see a thing, James," Lily said quietly, turning back to him. "I don't have my wand."

James reached into his back pocket without a word and withdrew his. With one swift movement, a light appeared from the tip of his wand and they both blinked, letting their eyes adjust to the brightness.

In the near distance, Lily could see someone standing in the shadows, the light from James's wand barely reaching where the person stood. She couldn't say with certainty, but there was no doubt in her mind that it was their father.

"James," Lily whispered and reached back, her hand waving blindly in the air until he caught it. "Light the lamps…_please_."

With another flick of his wand, the entire corridor glowed with a soft light, and both James and Lily held their breath at the sight of their father standing before them.

He was facing them, his eyes unfocused and his body standing perfectly still. His face was ghostly pale with tear stains streaked down his cheeks. He looked worn and fragile.

Lily swallowed the large lump in her throat, desperately trying to hold back the tears as she stared at her father. She opened her mouth to call to him, but no words came out. Her voice refused to break through the air.

Sensing that something was wrong, James squeezed her hand again before letting it go and stepping around her.

"Dad?" his deep voice said with such soothing. Lily thought hers would probably sound rather shrill compared to his right now.

When Harry didn't answer, James called to him again.

Concerned by her brother's wary look, Lily reached out and put a gentle hand on his arm. She didn't say anything as his eyes sought the meaning in hers. With a slow step forward, she carefully approached her father.

"Dad?" Lily could feel the anxiety building inside her. Unsure of what they would do if he didn't respond, she glanced at James who exchanged the same look of uncertainty.

Moving towards their father more, she stopped a few feet away from him and took a deep breath. Maybe they just needed to come about this from another angle.

"Harry?" her voice was surer, steady…almost like her mother's.

James's brow was set with deep lines of worry, his expression nearly disapproving. But despite his concerns now, it was too late.

Harry flinched briefly, causing Lily to gasp in response. Studying him for a moment, they watched a deep frown set across his face.

"Harry?" she tried again, ignoring the look of warning that she knew was coming from her brother. This time, her father's eyes met hers.

They stood quietly, staring at each other for a long moment before Harry finally spoke. "Ginny?" He was still frowning, as was Lily now. She had worried that his frame of mind might not be very sound.

Harry started to smile at the familiar sight before him when Lily shook her head.

"Ginny," he sighed with relief. "I thought you'd left."

Lily's hand drifted up slowly to cover her quivering lips as tears began to well up in her eyes. It was all that she could do to hide the agonized look on her face. Suddenly, she hated the thought of having to make him understand the truth. She wanted him to be happy, even though she knew he couldn't go on like this forever, even if it wasn't healthy for him.

"No, Dad," Lily failed to mask the raw hurt in her voice. "It's me. Lily."

"Dad," James said from where he stood, a few feet behind his sister. His voice was concerned but firm.

"It's okay, James," Lily said with a quick look over her shoulder. But as her gaze met her father's again, she noticed the immediate change in his expression.

His smile faded slowly and paused with a start, vaguely realizing that it was his daughter standing in front of him and not his wife. It wasn't a dream and yet, it wasn't real. His eyes and mind were deceiving him.

"Dad?" Lily asked, scared that he might go into shock again.

Harry's unfocused eyes roamed aimlessly over the corridor until they settled on the figure that had spoken a moment ago. Was it James, like Lily had said? He thought it might be, but he couldn't trust his eyesight anymore.

Lily observed the confused expression that crossed her father's face as he squinted uncertainly at James standing behind her.

"It's only James," she cautioned, stepping toward him again. She wasn't far from him now. One more careful step and he'd be within arm's reach.

"It's just me, Dad. It's James."

"James?" Harry whispered, wondering if he could even trust these voices that were speaking to him now.

He looked down at the woman standing near him. She looked so much like Ginny… but it wasn't her. There was no possibility that it would ever be her standing before him again.

Harry frowned, hesitant to speak the name that meant the world to him.

"Ginny," his voice frail, shallow.

"No, Dad," Lily corrected him patiently, but her words fell short when his gaze drifted away from her.

She watched as he stared at the door on his left, choking on whispers of her mother's name until he could no longer bear it.

Harry feared the reality of what lay beyond that threshold now. It was a symbol of an end that he never wanted to see.

"Oh, Dad," Lily bit her lip, trying to keep her emotions under control. She closed the small gap between them and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, burying her face in his jumper.

She was supposed to be comforting him, but as his arms encircled her body, somehow, he seemed to be the one comforting her.

* * *

Harry sat unmoving at the kitchen table, the moments passing by in a cloudy haze. He could hear the muffled voices of his family around him, not one sound, not one image distinct in his mind. He'd been quiet for so long that they'd all begun to worry, not knowing what could be said or done, not knowing what he needed. Hermione insisted that it was just a matter of time, to let him work through the grief the way he thought best.

Of course, Harry didn't mind the silence and solitude, even if he wasn't really alone. In the quiet, empty space within him was where he found her voice. It was where he could still hear her last words. It was the place in his memory where she still lived and he didn't want a second of that taken away from him.

Over the course of the minutes or hours that had unknowingly escaped him, he'd become so unaware of his surroundings that he didn't feel the small tug on his sleeve, nor did he notice when a tiny red-haired girl climbed into his lap and laid her head against his chest. It wasn't until moments later that he recognized the hushed sound of tears that brought him back to his senses.

Harry took in a long, deep breath at the sight of Kelsey, James's youngest, as she cuddled herself closer to him. He closed his eyes, hoping that she didn't already know the news and wishing that he wouldn't have to be the one to tell her. He wouldn't be able to bear watching his youngest grandchild discover that her grandmother wasn't going to be here anymore.

Gathering his strength, he wrapped his arms around her small frame and opened his eyes.

"Kelsey, sweetheart, what's the matter?" Harry asked gently, yet his voice still sounded grave to his own ears.

She sniffled once and shook her head in response.

"Won't you tell Granddad why you are sad?" She shook her head again. "Please? I can try to make it better."

Kelsey sniffled once more and wiped away a few tears with the back of her tiny hand.

"Why are you so sad, love?" Harry whispered when her big brown eyes met his.

"'Cause – 'Cause…you're sad," she muttered and buried her face in his jumper again. A wave of realisation washed over Harry so suddenly that he could barely contain the hurt inside.

"What makes you think I'm sad? I'm all right, see?" he said, putting on the best smile he could and lifting her chin so that she could see that he was fine.

Kelsey sniffled quietly one last time as Harry wiped away a few stray tears from her cheeks. He winked at her while she observed his expression carefully until she was sure that his mood had changed and finally gave a little smile of her own.

"That's much better," Harry said, smiling back as best he could and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Granddad," Kelsey said after a quiet moment, "where's Nana?"

Worried that she might have overheard and understood what the others were talking about, he answered back timidly. "She's upstairs. Why?"

"Can I see her?" she asked, her face alight with such excitement that it sent another wave of pain through Harry.

He swallowed roughly, his mouth suddenly feeling rather parched. "No, sweetheart. Nana's…sleeping. She's very tired, so we don't want to wake her."

"Oh," Kelsey muttered, her smile fading.

Hoping that his diversion had worked, Harry asked, "Why did you want to see her?"

"'Cause," she stuttered a little, "I made her a charm."

"A charm?" he asked, intrigued. "May I see it?" Kelsey nodded in response and picked up the thin string of the charm that hung around her neck, lifting it for Harry to see.

In her tiny hands lay a charm, shaped in the outline of her. He smiled at the detail and attention paid to the small portrait of his granddaughter, who was happily posed with a flower in her hand.

"Did you make this all by yourself?" Harry eyed her with a knowing look.

"Aunt Lily helped me," Kelsey admitted.

"Oh, I see," he answered with a small nod as his eyes quickly drifted up to find his daughter sitting a short distance from him, attempting to rock her grandson, Charlie, to sleep.

Harry's eyes flitted back to the little girl in his lap. "It's very beautiful," he smiled, touching the edge of the charm carefully before speaking again. "I'm sure Nana will love it. Would you like for me to give it to her?" His voice was beginning to waver unsteadily as the thoughts of his grandchildren swirled in his mind. They wouldn't get the chance to spend as many years with her like everyone else had; they'd been cheated of so much time with Ginny.

Vaguely, Harry noticed Kelsey's nod as she pulled the charm from around her neck and placed it in his aged hands.

"Will you tell her that it's from me?" she asked hopefully.

His eyes looked from the charm that he was now holding to the big, bright eyes shining up at him and swallowed the thick knot in his throat.

"Of course I will, sweetheart."

"Can I come see her tomorrow?" Kelsey continued, causing Harry to flounder helplessly for a moment until the sound of his daughter-in-law's voice caught him off guard.

"Kelsey, what are you doing in here?" Anna said with reproach as she walked towards Harry and her daughter. "I told you that you couldn't come in here right now."

Kelsey clung to her grandfather as she watched her mother draw closer. "I wanted to see Granddad," she insisted stubbornly. Harry laughed to himself as he thought about just how much his granddaughter was like Ginny, so very headstrong at times.

"Granddad's very busy, Kels. Come on," Anna said, reaching out to take her daughter but Kelsey refused to budge.

"Dad, I'm so sorry," she apologized with a sigh.

"It's all right," Harry assured her as he loosened Kelsey's tight grip from around him slowly. Her eyes begged him not to make her go, but the longer she stayed there, the more he had to lie to her and he couldn't bear another minute.

"You'd better listen to your mum, sweetheart. I'll see you in a bit." Kelsey pouted with disappointment.

"Can I have a kiss before you go?" Harry asked quickly before Anna could claim the young girl.

Without a second thought, she stretched up and kissed her grandfather on the cheek and then wrapped her small arms around his neck in a warm hug. "I love you, Granddad," she said quietly.

His lips quivered as his strength faltered momentarily. There was so much meaning behind her words. Somehow finding his voice, he whispered back, "I love you, too."

Harry watched the two of them go quietly, after Anna successfully removed Kelsey from his lap. He hadn't wanted to be the one to answer all of her questions, but now that she was gone, he dreaded it just as much. Her absence left him not only trying to fill the void of her company but also left him without any distraction from his own thoughts.

Instead of withdrawing into the shadows of loneliness that had consumed his every second, he looked around the room. Harry noticed Ron and Hermione first, sitting closely together as they continued a discussion with James. They both looked worn and tired. He could only imagine what he looked like now. Standing across the room was Albus and his wife, Colleen. They were listening intently to the conversation as Colleen tried to do everything she could to comfort him.

Finally, his eyes fell on Lily again. Harry had not noticed before that David, Lily's husband, was sitting with her. Now observing them quietly from afar, he watched his son-in-law as he would occasionally ask Lily if she was all right or remind her that he or anyone else could take Charlie off her hands.

But time and again, she assured him that she was fine and that she did not mind watching Charlie until their daughter, Sarah, arrived.

Harry kept to himself while the others continued discussing the matters of Ginny's funeral. He did not pay much attention to what they were saying. Rather, his gaze stayed fixed on his daughter and great-grandson as she held him tight against her, his head resting on her shoulder. Harry watched his tiny body move with each breath while Lily slowly rubbed his back in soothing circles.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Harry heard a distant humming, a melody that seemed vaguely familiar to him. It wasn't until moments later that he realized that Lily was quietly humming a song to Charlie as he slept, a song so deeply etched into Harry's mind that suddenly, without warning, the old memories overwhelmed him.

"Your mum used to do that," Harry whispered, not wanting to draw any attention but his daughter's.

It took Lily a moment to realize that he was speaking to her. When her confused gaze finally met his, he saw the hidden tears in her eyes. "What's that?"

Harry nodded in her direction. "When you and your brothers were little, your mum would rub circles across you back and sing that same lullaby to you," he explained, glancing down at Charlie again.

Quiet tears rolled down Lily's cheeks and it took her a moment to collect herself before she could speak.

"I know," she swallowed. "She taught me after Sarah was born. I was having such a difficult time getting her down for a nap one day." Lily's smile was bittersweet as she spoke of her mother. "That's when Mum told me about her little trick. She said it had always worked on us."

"I only just remembered that," Harry breathed. "I'd forgotten until now." He paused, neither one of them saying anything for a moment. Harry could feel the sad truth crashing over like a drowning wave. "How many more memories do I have to lose before I can't remember her anymore?"

"You won't forget mum, Dad. There's no way that it would ever happen. You wouldn't let yourself…" Her voice trailed off as Harry thought fleetingly of Dumbledore's pensieve that he had used all those years ago.

He shook his head slowly. "I've already lost the chance to say goodbye to her. How can I forgive myself for that?"

Lily sighed with a pitying expression and then turned to whisper something to her husband. Reaching over, David gently took Charlie from her arms and stood, making his way into the sitting room.

Lily hesitated for a moment before moving over to the empty chair closest to her father. She studied him, one hand now folded over the other on the wooden table in front of him, his back hunched over tired and weary. She couldn't bear to see him in the broken state that he was in now.

"Dad," Lily said softly, placing her hand on top of his. "You know that Mum loves you, right?" She wondered if this might be where all of his worry was coming from.

Harry gave a small nod in response.

"That will never change, no matter how far apart the two of you are."

Harry's voice was grave. "You don't understand." He hadn't wanted to say goodbye to begin with. But the fact that he slept while she lay dying would always haunt him.

"Help me understand, Dad, please."

He closed his eyes and hung his head. How could he tell her that he was ashamed of himself? Just then, he felt Lily's hand slip between his, squeezing one of them.

"What if she had been trying to tell me something was wrong?" Harry muttered. Lily frowned, not understanding what her father was talking about. Raising his head slightly, his eyes took on a faraway look.

"I was sleeping while she was..." he could not finish it, could not say the word.

Lily did not say anything for a long moment. She sat quietly, confused by what his words meant until suddenly, she put the missing pieces of the puzzle together.

"You couldn't have known, Dad." She held her gaze on him despite the fact that he could not bring himself to look her in the eye. "There's nothing you could've done."

"I could have tried," he said firmly, his jaw set.

"Mum wouldn't have wanted you to. You know that, Dad. I know you do." A frown set in Harry's brow as his daughter spoke. "And I know that you didn't want her to have to suffer anymore."

She was right. He would not have wished another day on Ginny that she would have had to struggle through. But his selfishness did not want to let her go.

"I don't want to lose…" Harry choked on his words.

"You still have so much more of Mum than you know. We all do." She paused, remembering something. "Mum used to tell me that no matter where I went or what I did, she'd always be there with me. I just thought that she was saying that to make me feel better, but I found out that she was right. Even now…" Lily's voice faded as she continued to watch her father. She knew that one day, he would understand how she felt.

They sat quietly together as James's voice echoed softly through the kitchen, neither one of them paying any attention to what was going on.

"What do you think, Lil?" James asked. The sound of her name caught her off guard and she shook her head trying to focus.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Where do you think we should bury Mum?"

Lily blinked, her thoughts too muddled to give an answer. "Erm…I don't really know."

James nodded and looked back at the others, Albus and Colleen now seated at the table. "I think she should be buried with the family, unless Dad already has a place…" No one spoke as they waited to see if Harry might respond.

"Aunt Hermione," James started when his father had not said anything. "Do you know if Dad-"

"She's going to be buried under the oak tree," Harry interrupted. Several of them frowned in confusion. They had not expected to hear that answer.

"Dad," Lily's voice questioned him, "are you sure that's where-"

"That's where _she_ wants to be buried."

James's frown wore deep into him as he spoke carefully to his father. "Maybe we should bury her in a more proper place…"

Harry looked up at his oldest son, his expression and tone never more serious than it was at that moment. "That is a proper place."


End file.
